Been figuring out ways to conquer my daily anxieties — symptoms include unproductivity, low confidence, self-loathing. If you see me biting my nails I’m unknowingly signalling my internal jitters. I shuffle my cards and do some solitary game of Magic: the Gathering just to kill the mass flies buzzing in my brain. I overwork my mind to numb it, like how limbs become numb after moments of carrying loads upon loads of personal burden.
The day is long, and simple tasks feel so heavy by just thinking about them. Overthinking is a dangerous habit. I try to silence my mind, but it retaliates by showing me images of recurring loneliness. I try to drink to drown out specific sorrows, but comfort is fleeting. I am doomed. I think I’m only making things worse.
So here I am writing. Trying to make sense out of everything.